Someone tell me if I want to read Twilight or not
I have been hemming and hawing for ages about this. On one hand, I think vampires are stupid and I bristle at people with misspelled names like Stephenie.*
On the other hand, I have a lot of interest in figuring out how you become one of those authors who makes a lot of money.
Do I invest my precious time in this series? Someone tell me, please. I am a terrible decision-maker.
*Then again, Jim's last name is so mangled that it's basically unrecognizable as Polish. Once he went to a Greek bakery. The guy at the counter got all soppy when he saw Jim's name on the credit card, going on about, "what town were your grandparents from," etc. Then he clammed up when Jim said, "I'm Polish."
On the other hand, I have a lot of interest in figuring out how you become one of those authors who makes a lot of money.
Do I invest my precious time in this series? Someone tell me, please. I am a terrible decision-maker.
*Then again, Jim's last name is so mangled that it's basically unrecognizable as Polish. Once he went to a Greek bakery. The guy at the counter got all soppy when he saw Jim's name on the credit card, going on about, "what town were your grandparents from," etc. Then he clammed up when Jim said, "I'm Polish."
posted by Christine Borne at 9:39 AM
18 Comments:
No. The vampires sparkle. Read Dead Until Dark instead. In that one the vampires are actually dangerous rather than angsty.
Don't do it. You are not fourteen.
Do you love Vampires. Do you Christine? Look me (or someone, anyway) in the eye and tell me how you really feel about the Wampyr.
If it's not love, write about something else that you do care about.
On the plus side, you can change your name to Chrysteen and no-one need ever know it's you behind that series of soul-sucked potboilers.
It's true. I don't have the slightest interest in Vampires.
But then again, I balked at reading Harry Potter at first because I thought, oh God, wizards, bleah. Not for me.
Are these Twilight vampires at least sort of original? Why do people like this series? That's what I'm trying to get at. That little thing that makes readers go gaga over something.
Have you watched the movie? I can tell you that if you're merely looking to cull the commercial aspects, the movie will do fine for that. And it's only a few hours of your life. Watch it when you're drunk sometime.
I was pretty curious about it to, until I watched that damn thing alone on a Saturday morning.
Ugh.
Just write a thinly veiled sex book for Mormons. It's all any of them do.
If you really must, I'd suggest reading the first chapter of the book and then watching the movie.
It's a vampire book without sex or violence. What's the point?
The key to writing books like this is learning how to guess what the next big trend will be. Keep an eye on things and when something looks like it might be big, bang out a novel as quickly as you can. It doesn't have to be good. Get a good artist for the dust jacket and you're set.
"As quickly as you can" is a phrase that the writer in me reacts to about as badly as vampires react to kryptonite, or whatever it is vampires hate.
It is ESPECIALLY HARD to bang out a novel as quickly as possible when your COLLABORATOR (Lead Paint Cookbook) refuses to stick to her 500-word daily deadlines.
I wrote like 150 words at lunch today! Also, I don't remember teenage vampires being part of the project we're working on.
As I've said before, you're the brains, I'm the hanger-on.
And as *I* have said before, I already have a hanger-on: Jim. He deserves to ride my coattails to fame and fortune because of all the crap he has taken from me over the last 7 years.
I need your irreverent wit, Cookbook, or else this project is going to flounder like a possum in a hot tub.
I thought it was nicer to say that I was a hanger on than what I really meant: you're the brains, I'm the beauty.
I promise to try harder, Boss.
Why start being nice now? You've made such a great career out of being a grouch.
Whatever, Queen Grouchly.
For what it's worth, I've had this exact dilemma. I borrowed a co-worker's copy, read about 70 pages, put it down and gave it back.
Hey! I bit the bullet and read it. It's a little overwrought, but it's really about Bella and her world view, not really about vampires. It may take you back to being 14 and having everything out of your control. (If you thought of yourself as a clutz.)
My advice is to find a nice bottle of wine, a good setting (backyard, beach, hilltop) and give it a good skim. There are a couple of scenes that are inventive. The movie's beautiful to look at, but there's more explanation in the world the author's created in the book.
These are all very interesting and readerly observations. I suppose I will eventually pick it up, for the same reason I eventually checked out the Da Vinci Code - because I wanted to know what all the old ladies were crowing about. Or something.
I quit around page 100ish of Twilight. Maybe I'll get back to it, lest I miss out on something that I want to understand. You should at least try it...why not?
Also, I'd assumed Jim's name was Lithuanian, with the "as" ending and all. haha.
--Jackie
The appeal of Twilight is that it is a self insert Mary Sue story. An average looking girl moves to new town then has all these guys crushing on her. One of whom happens to be the vampire equivalent of a red headed Brad Pitt. Oh and he's rich, and moral, and intelligent. Basically he's perfect except for that whole vampire thing. Yet he is also enough of a jerk to make the low self esteem types chase after him. The female narrator is never fully fleshed out, she never has any character development. It makes it easier for the reader to imagine themselves in her place.
Maybe I will write a Mary Sue story with Dennis Kucinich as the loverboy. Or Ralph Nader. He's a handsome fellow, plus no Amazon wife to fight me.
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