A Very Honest Resume
My grant money is probably going to dry up over the next year, so I've started cleaning up the old resume. In doing so, I've realized that one of my greatest professional strengths is that I am keenly aware of my shortcomings (and know how to work within and around them).
In this spirit, I've put together what I'm calling A Very Honest Resume.
Here is an excerpt:
My experiences working in public libraries and riding the bus have shaped me into the go-to person for dealing with a diverse array of weirdos. I am highly proficient with thinking up innovative ideas, and am VERY EAGER to learn how to follow through on them. Additionally, I have a proven track record in taking on management responsibilities before I am ready for them, then getting burned out.
Other notable skills include:
What would your Very Honest Resume say?
In this spirit, I've put together what I'm calling A Very Honest Resume.
Here is an excerpt:
My experiences working in public libraries and riding the bus have shaped me into the go-to person for dealing with a diverse array of weirdos. I am highly proficient with thinking up innovative ideas, and am VERY EAGER to learn how to follow through on them. Additionally, I have a proven track record in taking on management responsibilities before I am ready for them, then getting burned out.
Other notable skills include:
- Wishing I was somewhere else
- Not living up to my potential
- Burning bridges
- Leaving scraps of paper lying around that are scribbled with what I think are probably flashes of brilliance, but that other people probably think are the ramblings of a crazy person
- Feeling thwarted, creatively
What would your Very Honest Resume say?
posted by Christine Borne at 7:03 PM
6 Comments:
Sincere, well-intentioned workaholic. Cannot stand people who won't acknowledge that the emperor is naked. If you don't want the unvarnished truth, don't ask for my opinion.
Extremely proficient at taking on way too much in the interest of trying to Make. Everyone. Happy. You will think I'm a magician because I will accompish more than you thought any one person can do, but I will deep-fry my physical and mental health in the process. I will completely burn out every three years and need to re-invent my job. You will blame yourself when this happens.
I'd wait for the interview stage before mentioning shortcomings.
But your future employers will know all this stuff anyway - they'll google you before the interview and find this post.
Yep. Well, I want them to google me. I google all of our interns. I haven't got anything to hide, and frankly, I'd like to work for an employer that appreciates this kind of honesty. Plus, I would want them to know that they're getting someone who's going to take the blame for their own mistakes, and not lamely shirk it off onto someone else. Personally, I find that insufferable!
Great idea! Be sure to add:
...and by the way, if you've Googled me and found this page, you know I have no interest in working for you if you don't find this somewhat amusing.
Will alternate between slacking, putting a lot of time and effort into things that may or may not need to be done, and performing tasks that do need to be done but that you aren't aware of and probably don't have time to think about.
It would also be fantastic if employers wrote "Very Honest Job Postings" that include such things as:
You will be underpaid and only occasionally appreciated.
You will have opportunity for advancement. Opportunity is the key word -- actualization is another thing entirely.
Our clients are really annoying, and sometimes even verbally abusive.
The guy next to the cubicle you will be assigned stalked its last occupant.
Our health care plan is good, but not as good as it used to be and we're planning to drop it completely six weeks after we hire you.
Someone is always microwaving pungent-smelling leftovers in the office.
The last person to hold this position is currently checked into a mental care facility for "exhaustion."
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