Crushing Disappointment! (Or, Moving On to Plan B....)

Below is a letter I sent to Frank Jackson's office this afternoon, after listening to his recent Sound of Ideas interview:

(Pay attention to the part I've highlighted, and you'll understand what this post's title is all about.)

Dear Mayor Jackson,

I have a comment regarding the question you were asked on The Sound of Ideas about connecting low-income Cleveland residents (who don't have cars) with jobs in the suburbs.

I am a Cleveland native living in New York City. I want to return to Cleveland, but I'm facing a similar problem: because of my commitment to using public transportation, I'm limited to looking for jobs downtown. Which is fine, but there aren't that many jobs downtown: over the past year, I've seen plenty of interesting job postings, but they were all located in RTA-unfriendly places like Parma or Solon.

In fact, this happened to me just this morning - I was on the phone scheduling a job interview with a company I believed to be located in downtown Cleveland, only to find out that they had relocated to Independence.

As I'm sure you know, current development patterns make inter-suburb public transit routes inefficient and impractical. On the other hand, the existing wheel-and-spoke system in Cleveland is quite good - it's pretty convenient to get from the suburbs to downtown.

So, please consider providing incentives for businesses to move - and stay - downtown.

It's clear to me that you care very much about the city of Cleveland. So do I. Thank you for your time.

Moving on....

Queen of Denial

I'm not yet sure what to make of Jeff Buster's uber-pessimistic approach to revitalization (or is it revolution?) in Cleveland. It could work!

I think that in order to live in Cleveland and not get chewed up by the jaws of Despair, you have to adopt a sort of tragicomic ability to romanticize the city while also remaining deeply skeptical of the motivations of its leaders.

This is undoubtedly a variation on the theme of denial - but hey, it's no different from the kind of denial that you have to adopt when flying in a commuter airplane: "gee, I'm getting into this rickety hunk of metal full of explosive fluid and I'm going to go miles up into the great blue yonder! Hooray!"

There may be a precept in the Daodejing that explains this phenomenon better, but for now, here's a haiku I just made up:

Graceful walleye swims

Through the brightening waves, then

Hooks drop from above

[editor's note: no poet I am.]

Best/Worst

So, I've been thinking about what my response would be to everyone's favorite 2-part interview question: describe your best and worst qualities.

The best thing that ever happened to me was the moment I realized I didn't know everything, but that I had the skills to figure out how to find out what I needed to know, when I needed to know it. For a former insufferable little know it all (who would've put Hermione Granger to shame), this was a tremendous breakthrough -- and relief!

Unfortunately, I have a rather closer relationship with the voice of doubt than I would like. I typically look at things from all angles, and often, at least one of those angles involves a decent amount of pessimism. (I'm getting better at stamping out the old VoD, though. When I sense its presence, I just start humming "Freebird" and it retreats into the ether.)

How would you answer this question?

Cleveland Confessions

Now that we've decided to move back to Cleveland, I'd better come clean about a few things:

1. I have no idea which road the Innerbelt is. I do now.

2. I've never actually eaten a Polish Boy.

3. Superhost always freaked me out. I blame him for a lot of my neuroses.

4. I've never been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

5. Until five minutes ago, I hadn't the slightest clue that the Cuyahoga River was such a funny shape. Duh! It sure is crooked....

What's the Matter with Euclid?

So, I'm pleading west-side ignorance here... why are all the houses in Euclid so freaking cheap? I mean, just look at them all!

Is it the fact that I-90 seems to cut right through it? Does that make it ugly? I think I've been to Euclid maybe once, and I don't remember.

I don't think it would be my car-free urban paradise, but at those prices - especially in such proximity to the lake - I might be persuaded to rethink my dreams.

update: as soon as I posted this, the phrase Euclidean zoning percolated into my consciousness....

Where Would I Live? Part Five: Edgewater

Since it's too freaking hot to do anything, and it's going to stay that way for the next ten days, or so, I might as well keep doing what I do best -- daydream about being somewhere else.

So...Edgewater.

I remember back when I was younger, thinner, and less worldly, riding the bus down Clifton when the many deciduous trees were in their full autumn splendor and thinking, this is the most beautiful place in the world. Last time I drove down Clifton - surely more than a year ago now - I thought the same thing. I look at pictures like these from the Cudell Improvement site and get nostalgic.

The thing that keeps me from moving back to Edgewater this weekend is a suspicion that my fond memories of it have more to do with a general high point in my adult life, rather than any affinity for the neighborhood itself.

When I look at it objectively, I'm not sure that it has as much to offer as, say, Cedar Fairmount. That's not completely fair... it's a very leafy, beautiful area that's well connected, public transportwise, and as far the loudness factor goes...it was one of the better places I've lived. But the only grocery store is a pretty shabby Giant Eagle, which I can see getting torn down to make way for a high-rise condo or something (which sounds like a possibility according to this Wikipedia article), the restaurants are meh, and despite the flowered beauty of the Truffles garden, there are a few elements about Clifton that shout: sprawl!

Although... one thing I haven't been considering, which I absolutely should be considering, is the neighborhood pizza presence. Edgewater = Papa Nick's. Papa Nick's = happy Christine. Shaker Square has Captain Tony's, which I was never that fond of, and Cedar Fairmount looks alarmingly pizza-less....

Pros. The lake. Public transport - this is the neighborhood I lived in without owning a car, remember. Lots of apartments. Pretty houses. Truffles.

Cons. Not living up to my vaunted memories. Dirty Giant Eagle that may not be long for this world. Lack of services ... the extent of Cedar-Fairmount's mixed-usedness is really getting under my skin, making it the potential frontrunner.

Actually I'm having trouble coming up with many cons for Edgewater. My biggest one is that I have a vague sense that I shouldn't trust the city of Cleveland not to schmuck it up somehow. I'm thinking about the city of Long Branch, New Jersey, and how it got schmucked up with ugly waterfront condos.

Then again, there's the Lakewood side .... right after I moved to Shaker Heights, being driven from my apartment on a Sunday afternoon by my lovely neighbor and her stereo, I went over to Lakewood to look at apartments. I saw the most beautiful, reasonably-priced apartment I ever laid eyes on before or since on the Lakewood side of Edgewater. I am still kicking myself for not breaking my Shaker lease and moving in immediately.

If I had, this three-year East Coast odyssey may never have happened!

Where Would I Live? Part Four: Shaker Square

Ahhh, Shaker Square.

On one hand: been there, done that, sort of. I lived near Lee and Van Aken for a year, which was a vigorous walk to Shaker Square - a walk that I undertook fairly frequently. It bothered me, though, that no one else seemed to - I actually don't recall running into more than one other pedestrian, ever. Just people in cars advising me to also get one.

(However, I should point out that the reason I walked to Shaker Square was because I liked to go to the bookstore. Oops.)

But the thing that makes Shaker Square gain points over Cedar Fairmount is the presence of locally-owned Dave's Supermarket, which wasn't there in my day. (C-F only has a Giant Eagle. Or... wait a second. Is it a Dave's now? This list seems to suggest that it is. So does this. Someone tell me true!) Another rare commodity: the farmer's market -- I haven't been able to walk to a farmer's market since living in Missoula. (For the record: I loved being able to walk to the farmer's market in Missoula. Loved it.)

Other pros of Shaker Square: Balaton (not until I got out of Cleveland did I realize how rare and special a good Hungarian restaurant is); Luchita's; an increasingly rare pedestrian-friendly movie theatre; more public transport than I could possibly need; Jim's friend Paul lives nearby, so, built-in friends (although, I've never met him, so it's possible I might find him grating and horrible....)

Cons: East Side location (I am at heart a West Sider, and spent my two years living on the East Side wishing I didn't); relatively expensive; inordinate noise seems a possibility; crime? (I seem to remember some doozies, but it may have gotten better....insight, anyone?); traffic (I recall drivers who acted like they didn't know how to behave in a pedestrian area, and that having somewhat of a negative effect on foot traffic.

I'm also not convinced Shaker Square is designed for the people who live there... that it might be more of a destination neighborhood, like Coventry. Again, insight?

Although, I suspect the biggest cons with Shaker Square are mostly psychological... I might feel a sort of sense of defeat. Like, after three years, I just move back to within a stone's throw of where I lived before?

I admit I also have bad feelings for the area owing to my bitchy, nouveau riche upstairs neighbor on Van Aken who refused to "give up living in comfort" (by turning her massive stereo system down) for the likes of me, a humble librarian. When I imagine stepping out for dinner at someplace like Sergio's SARAVA, I imagine her sitting at the bar with her paunchy, golf-pants-wearing, sports car-driving paramour, toasting their prosperity.

This experience has so colored my image of upscale East Side living that I'm enormously hesitant to give it another try.

Sealed With a Donut

Jim and I have made our decision to move back to Cleveland. We are now both actively looking for employment.

It all started with a donut run.

A few weeks ago, one of my coworkers announced that he was heading down to Manhattan's Lower East Side for lunch, and would any of us like something from the much-hyped Doughnut Plant, which you may recall from Throwdown with Bobby Flay.

Recalling the year I spent in Montana searching for donuts -any donuts- I said yes, I would like one.

Now, these were supposed to be the best donuts in the world. If Krispy Kreme = Parma, then these were supposed to be Shaker Heights.

Except, they weren't. I bit into the Tres Leches - their signature pastry - and realized that the whole New York Mystique has been a lie. Better donuts there are in plenty down Holmes County way, and for much less than $2 a pop.

So, if you are a Cleveland employer in need of someone with good research and communication skills, please let me know.

update: I feel the need to point out that it's three years to the day since I started working at the Ocean County Library. End update.