And now for something completely different.....

.....for your holiday reading pleasure, a trio of Crabbles (Cleveland drabbles), inspired by my Christmas eve trip to the West Side Market.

1.
At 10, Frank showed up for his small decaf. As usual, he was wearing his moth-eaten tweed coat and partially unraveled wool vest. Today a Santa hat was parked on his head in direct contrast to his sour expression.

“Ralph died yesterday,” he said as Lucy handed him the cup.

“Two days before Christmas?”

“And he was about to retire, too.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Lucy hoped her relief sounded like sympathy. Frank shrugged and shuffled away.

The animatronic Santa on the counter waggled his finger at her, as if to chortle “Shame, shame, shame. Merry Christmas!”

Lucy hated Ralph.


2.
Katie circled through the market three times before she finally decided to buy the dobos torte.

Dobos torte was, after all, the only thing she and Jason had left in common.

After the affair (she’d only just stopped calling it “the Troubles,” like in Northern Ireland) Katie had tried to put things right by learning his grandmother’s recipe. But she never got it right.

As she rounded the corner, Katie saw Mrs. Szabo handing the box to an old man at the counter.

“Last one, Mr. Mikulas” she chirped.

He winked at Katie as he passed.

“Kellemes karácsonyi,”* he said.


3.
(for Kim, who is unfortunately hosting the Mucinex family this Christmas)

Teri saw the old woman through a gap in the crowd and panicked.

“Afternoon, ma’am!” barked the man behind the meat counter. His arms were covered in red, bloody juices, and the fleshless heads of unidentifiable ruminants grinned from beneath the glass case.

“Baa!” The man chuckled when Teri jumped. “Just kidding. Can I interest you in some lamb livers? Very good with some onions, carrots--”

Teri scanned the crowd, her heart thumping. There she was -- her white curly head bobbing closer, her wire-rimmed spectacles glinting like the devil’s orthodontia.

“I can’t,” Teri hissed, ducking down. “The librarian is coming.”

*************

*"Merry Christmas," in Hungarian -- if I've got it wrong, please let me know!