The Theme of My Twenties
Now that I've celebrated the last birthday of my twenties (as my parents oh-so amusingly reminded me - like that doesn't make them even older), I feel compelled to reflect on my "fading youth."
Regret was probably the most common theme of my twenties. And I mean melancholic regret, the kind that paralyzes you, keeps you from doing what you want to do because "it's already too late."
Whether this developed as a response to an early overfondness of the work of Mr. Yeats, or as a vestige of my actual Irish ancestry, I don't know.
It doesn't really matter anymore, though, because I've come to appreciate how hilariously stupid it is to think that I can't embark on, say, a Grand Tour, because at age 29, it's too late.
I've also come to appreciate how to use Regret as a vehicle for personal growth.
Here's an old Cleveland-based regret of mine:
When I lived in Coventry, I did not do enough of the following:
That I didn't do these things is surprising to me, since I moved to Coventry because I wanted to live someplace where there were things I could walk to.
But I realize now that I didn't do more of this stuff because I had just started my first "real" job, and outside of my 40-hour workweek I felt exhausted and betrayed by the Universe for snookering me into such a meaningless existence.
So, instead of repeating this episode all over again, I'm taking advantage of what few walkable delights there are in my current neighborhood. My gratitude for them has even taken on a somewhat frantic overtone, as if they might disappear while I'm not looking (what's more likely, though, is that I'll disappear while they're not looking).
For those of you who are on the cusp, what theme dominated your last decade?
Regret was probably the most common theme of my twenties. And I mean melancholic regret, the kind that paralyzes you, keeps you from doing what you want to do because "it's already too late."
Whether this developed as a response to an early overfondness of the work of Mr. Yeats, or as a vestige of my actual Irish ancestry, I don't know.
It doesn't really matter anymore, though, because I've come to appreciate how hilariously stupid it is to think that I can't embark on, say, a Grand Tour, because at age 29, it's too late.
I've also come to appreciate how to use Regret as a vehicle for personal growth.
Here's an old Cleveland-based regret of mine:
When I lived in Coventry, I did not do enough of the following:
- walking down to Little Italy
- spending time at Lakeview Cemetery
- shopping at Zagara's
- having breakfast at the Inn on Coventry
- drinking at La Cave du Vin
That I didn't do these things is surprising to me, since I moved to Coventry because I wanted to live someplace where there were things I could walk to.
But I realize now that I didn't do more of this stuff because I had just started my first "real" job, and outside of my 40-hour workweek I felt exhausted and betrayed by the Universe for snookering me into such a meaningless existence.
So, instead of repeating this episode all over again, I'm taking advantage of what few walkable delights there are in my current neighborhood. My gratitude for them has even taken on a somewhat frantic overtone, as if they might disappear while I'm not looking (what's more likely, though, is that I'll disappear while they're not looking).
For those of you who are on the cusp, what theme dominated your last decade?
posted by Christine Borne at 11:39 AM
4 Comments:
The theme of my twenties has been: It's better to do what I like doing and let people take it or leave it than to try and do what I imagine people will like.
That was a hard-won lesson.
that is a really important lesson, and you're very lucky to have learned it so early, i think - i've known an awful lot of people much older than us who not only *haven't* learned that, but probably would consider it a sort of sin.....
I just turned 27, and the theme of my 20s so far has been... living with my parents. I don't feel like my "adult" life has truly begun yet, because many of my activities and involvements are only there because of my parents or people they know -- for better or worse. It's hard to have any sort of private life when you're living for free in their house.
I'm still looking for that next stable job that will pay me enough that I can live on my own without eating ramen every night. :) Until then, this'll do.
Hi Bryan- I think that people are living with their parents longer these days - as my dad said, 30 doesn't mean what it used to when he was 30 (i.e., that he could "no longer be trusted.")
But I'll use your own words as encouragement:
"...you're living for free..."
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