Getting up is a sucker's game

When you wake from a dream that a) you walk into a cafeteria full of retarded people who are all eating sardine burritos and b) you're watching an infomercial for a new space-age diaper that will allow the rich and incontinent to swill in their Jacuzzis without worrying about "gastrointestinal leakage", you know that a) you shouldn't go to bed right after drinking that Beach Bum Martini and b) you should no longer aspire to be like Charlie Bucket's grandparents.

It's time to get up.