An Interview With the Author
What aspiring writer among us hasn't fantasized that big "interview with the author"? I hasn't. Not until now, anyway:
How do you sit down to write?
First, I put in a pair of earplugs. To do this, I run the faucet, so I can hear the exact degree to which noise is slowly being blotted out while the earplugs expand. Then I put on one of a whole collection of floppy hats that I have so that just in case there's a tiny gap between my earplug and my ear I will have this secondary, earflapped buffer zone pulled low over my head. (I don't like noise.) Then I sit down at the computer - a cat usually lands in my lap at this point and drapes itself heavily over my left arm. Then, I'm ready.
Where do you get your ideas?
Really, I am an extremely unimaginative and lazy person. Some writers will tell you that a good writer won't take stuff from their actual life, but I am an acute noticer of things and I've noticed a lot of very funny (usually non-haha) and weird people out there. Many stories I write are based on dreams I've had - being an inveterate slacker and despiser of all things which take effort, I find that my brain often functions best creatively when I'm asleep. Also, if I don't like you, you will probably end up in something I write. I warned the loud girl downstairs that I was a writer and I needed quiet. She didn't listen, so she's fair game. Sorry, toots!
What do you like to read?
I don't like to read much - reading too much as a kid made me weird. I find it addictive, as I'll sit down to read and not eat, sleep or take much care of myself until I've finished the book or crumpled into an exhausted, literate heap. My favorite author is Philip Pullman, and I also enjoy Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut and Neil Gaiman. I like to read graphic novels and blogs better than "real" books. I like the clever, self-indulgent blogs best. My favorite one is called Really Bad Cleveland Accent.
Where can I hear an example of a Really Bad Cleveland Accent? Will you record one for my answering machine?
The answer to the second question is no.
As for the first question, here are the three choicest options:
Work hard and stay in school. Chemically.
Is being a writer fun?
Working in your jammies and taking vacation for however long you want is fun. Whichever path you take to get to that point is up to you.
How do you sit down to write?
First, I put in a pair of earplugs. To do this, I run the faucet, so I can hear the exact degree to which noise is slowly being blotted out while the earplugs expand. Then I put on one of a whole collection of floppy hats that I have so that just in case there's a tiny gap between my earplug and my ear I will have this secondary, earflapped buffer zone pulled low over my head. (I don't like noise.) Then I sit down at the computer - a cat usually lands in my lap at this point and drapes itself heavily over my left arm. Then, I'm ready.
Where do you get your ideas?
Really, I am an extremely unimaginative and lazy person. Some writers will tell you that a good writer won't take stuff from their actual life, but I am an acute noticer of things and I've noticed a lot of very funny (usually non-haha) and weird people out there. Many stories I write are based on dreams I've had - being an inveterate slacker and despiser of all things which take effort, I find that my brain often functions best creatively when I'm asleep. Also, if I don't like you, you will probably end up in something I write. I warned the loud girl downstairs that I was a writer and I needed quiet. She didn't listen, so she's fair game. Sorry, toots!
What do you like to read?
I don't like to read much - reading too much as a kid made me weird. I find it addictive, as I'll sit down to read and not eat, sleep or take much care of myself until I've finished the book or crumpled into an exhausted, literate heap. My favorite author is Philip Pullman, and I also enjoy Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut and Neil Gaiman. I like to read graphic novels and blogs better than "real" books. I like the clever, self-indulgent blogs best. My favorite one is called Really Bad Cleveland Accent.
Where can I hear an example of a Really Bad Cleveland Accent? Will you record one for my answering machine?
The answer to the second question is no.
As for the first question, here are the three choicest options:
- Listen to this speech by Dennis Kucinich.
- Listen to Stella. Stella is awesome.
- Call up any store at the Parmatown Mall, and ask them what the weather's been like lately.
Work hard and stay in school. Chemically.
Is being a writer fun?
Working in your jammies and taking vacation for however long you want is fun. Whichever path you take to get to that point is up to you.
posted by Christine Borne at 6:20 PM
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